I can’t quite believe it’s been 7 years ago already today…

since my dad died… It seems a lifetime ago that day when I sat in the office of my new job in London working away… I got an email from my aunt telling me to ring my sister urgently… it was all a big blur of rush from that moment onwards until I touched down back in Toronto at midnight that same day.

I think a small part of me still can’t quite believe that he’s gone. But the feeling that he’s coming back somehow has of course faded… but he’s certainly ever present in my life since the wee one seems to have a lot of his genes in her… she sparkles something of him in her smile which is quite divine really. A nice genetic surprise if you will. I often think wistfully of certain things that he would have just loved to have seen or experienced… bitter sweet really but such is death in most cases. I do miss him so.

My grandfather on the other hand is alive and kicking and tomorrow will celebrate his 90th birthday. Again I’m sad that I cannot be there to celebrate with him but we shall be there in spirit. What an achievement!

Time and life is just rushing by at a great pace. Work seems to be taking up the lion’s share of energy lately and the Easter holidays will be so well appreciated once they start for me on Friday. A four day weekend will be a great luxury even if it is rainy.

May is just around the corner although we’ve just started April. I’ve got my passage booked to spend a few days in London from the 7th to the 12th. Mit is having the wedding of the year that weekend and I’m most honored to be invited to attend. Not sure yet if the rest of my brood will be going but if it’s just me it’s not all bad either as I’ve not been back for a proper visit for well over a year and a half now so I’m well over due.

Sometimes I'm quite certain there's a jertain in the curtain...

And sometimes I'm subtly reminded that Sienna really is my daughter... While walking through the rainy streets this afternoon she was insisting on going into every shoe shop we passed. The girl spends a lot of time playing with all my shoes and she just loves to take them all down off the shelf. A few days ago Fredu found a pair of sandals that I thought weren't hideously kid-like and we bought them for her. I can't even explain how thrilled she is at the concept of her new shoes. I know they're fab and all but I think it's more the case that it's that her toes are free and there are no socks involved. Although my mother thinks that it's not unheard of for children to wear socks with sandals... I'm not of that mindset... call me a novice but people please. Fashion is not an option it's an obligation* right?

*Bargains are of course imperative if you are to follow this mantra


The sandals...

And since we purchased said sandals she has been obsessed with wearing them around the house. She'll find them, crawl up to your lap and motion for you to put them on her. Lucky they have a zip up the back as well as the velcro strap so it's never really a battle... Now I'm certain her feet will grow 2 sizes before it's warm enough to wear them... Murphy's law no?

At long last the wee ones teeth are finally starting to come in... How many babies have been walking for a couple of months already and are just now start getting teeth? I know I know everyone is different. We got her this amber teething necklace which apparently helps the inflamation. It's funny as I've now looked it up online and the prices for them are insane. We got ours for 6Euros... they seem to sell for 40 -60 in the states? Odd? And btw don't fret they don't chew on them it's simply the contact against their skin that releases some mild succinic acid, which naturally does the whole anti-inflamatory thing. Don't ask... but it seems to work. Looks pretty funky too.


The amber necklace

Ooh lots of fun an giggles were had

The girlies decended into London last week to help me celebrate my 33rd Birthday. Oh how brilliant it was to have some well needed girlie chats and giggles. We went shopping, ate out... went to the cinema too (something I've not done in god knows how long). They even baked me a fabulous birthday cake!

Work seems to be just insanely busy and thus blogging and all other life things seem to be have put on hold... The recovery from surgery is going well although I do hobble around a bit... the scar should heal nicely, not sure it will be so good for the bikini season that is rapidly approaching, but hey... one thing at a time!



The cake chefs!!!



The happy birthday girl!!!



Sienna with her aunties sipping mojitos in the sun!


Bad ass rock chick baby


Naughty Naughty Ninga Turles in the display case at the movie theatre...


A rare moment with just the two of us at the beach on the morning of my birthday before I went off to work.

And just when you thought it couldn't possibly get more exciting...


it did.

Sunday afternoon saw me checking into the hospital by the sea... by 11pm I was being operated on for appendicitis. Not a nice thing. But luckily it didn't rupture and the procedure went well.

I've not much experience with hospitals thank goodness but this was enough to let me know that I'm really not so into them. I'm back home now and waiting for my work laptop to arrive so I can get back onto things in the real world.

I think the worst thing other than not being able to hold the wee bub would be the massive headache that I'm dealing with today... the painkillers they give you sure do work on the wound but seem to somehow don't seem to help the headache?

Best get busy getting better so I can enjoy the time with Joey and Andrea who arrive to help me celebrate my birthday!

No more drama please and thank you.

Time is slipping by

faster than money through my bank account these days. Before you know it, spring will be here and summer is of course just around the corner.

It's been pretty hectic times here since my mum left. I think we're always in a bit of a daze when she goes as we just love having her here so much we're kind of left numb when she goes. All part of life though I suppose.

I just finished reading a book mum gave me at xmas. It's got a terrible cover and everyone in my office was convinced I was reading some sort of romance novel when they saw it on my desk... but it was really so good. It was called Beach Music by Pat Conroy and it was quite the story. The old man on the bus next to me on the way home last night was looking rather puzzled as he saw a few tears roll down my cheek as I flpped through the last pages of the book. What a great read! I really would never have picked it up on my own accord but since it came reccomended by mum I couldn't refuse. Now I'm onto the last book Andrea gave me for xmas called Savage Garden by Mark Mills. It's kind of a challenge to get in to right now as I was so pulled into the last book it's hard to move on... seems to be a re-occuring theme of this post.

Other long un-resolved issues are wrapping up but with them come more issues and more stress. Not quite sure why it is that just when we seem to be getting our feet on the ground that something pops up to set us back... I guess we'll learn to live by simply bobing at the surface for a while. Sigh.

The girls are coming from London for a visit in a few weeks and all the weekend and overtime I've been doing lately will be used up on a day off while they're here. I can't wait. Perhaps some girlie time will help get through all of this.

Lilli has voiced a bark of complaint that ever since Sienna has come along her blog presense has been severely diminished... She just wanted her adoring public to know that she was still really cute and that really, she's the start of the show.... so on that note... over to you Lilli Martini!

Two words

Pony Tails!

It’s been one year already

And on this very day one year ago the little miss Sienna Ellice entered into this world. I’m amazed at how quickly time flies and how much and how little my life has changed. I always thought that having a child would mean total upheaval… that the milestones of sleeping through the night, rolling over, sitting and now walking would be monumental and earth shattering. I think the thing is, is that they all happen at such a natural progression that I never felt the rush of a monumentus feeling at these accomplishments. I do however treasure every day and hope that I will sooner rather than later master the art of divine patience that you need to be a good parent. It is truly the biggest task especially when you’re a person like me. But who better to help you learn that a 10kilo bundle of smiles, giggles and love?

Some people say that you get magic ‘I forget the whole birth’ hormones… I don’t think I ever got those… I seem to have erased from my mind the whole 9 months leading up to that Saturday morning that I hobbled down the 120 steps and out into the street between contractions on the way to the hospital. I remember the cab ride, the checking in and the subsequent monitoring of my contractions. I watched in awe and horror as the measuring unit which previously I had only seen measure contractions at a 60 at the highest was now spiking at 98 and man did it hurt. I remember walking to the delivery room and waiting while Alfredo fiddled with his scrubs as he was so excited he could hardly get them on. I remember thinking, ‘why am I not in a wheel chair’? I remember how that when they finally let me push that the pain went away… and I remember looking up at the big white clock on the delivery room hall and seeing that it was 9h15 when she was born. Her birth certificate says 9h45 but I know that she was actually bon 30 minutes earlier… not that it matters really but I remember! Then from that point on I’ve worn a veil of surrealness of being a parent. I find it quite baffling really as I keep waiting for that veil to lift and finally feel a sigh of relief and think to myself- this is real, this isn’t Sarah playing the part of a person who is a mother… may take me a while yet but I’m ever optimistic and that says a lot coming from a certified fatalist.

Mum arrived safely yesterday and poor her, was greeted by a fleet of sickies… All three of us seem to have terrible colds and fever. I can’t imagine that there is a bug that is going around that I have not yet caught. I had I think 3 flus in January and am starting off Feb. with what I hope to be a single cold and not a whole flock of them… hack hack cough cough

Happy birthday my little boobitu (although we try not to call you that)

And then....

Finally some things actually get done! It's only taken a year but we've got Sienna's Baptism planned. It will be on the 8th. Mum is flying in... Mami and Papi are coming from Italy and we still don't know if Alfredo's parents and sisters are coming from Paris... but the impressive thing is that it will be done. It only took a whole year! Shame on us.

Well in the spirit of getting things done, I managed to go for a run today with Eric after work. My sweet chickadee fixed my bike for me so I cycled to the gym (I can't believe I still know where it is) and we went for a jog along the beach and then for a chilly swim in the outdoor swimming pool. It was heated of course but still chilly. Brr. It's only 21h but I'm seriously ready for some zzz's already!

Miss Joey and Mr Pierre have some big exciting moves on their horizons! I'm so excited to be able to visit them in Scotland in March once they make their big move up north!

Oh yes and there is that minor thing which is not so minor which is the wee madam's first birthday that is coming up on the 2nd of Feb. Man oh man this time last year I was fit to be tied as the waiting was driving me mad! I was thinking that as I was jogging down the beach tonight... boy sure couldn't have been doing this at the same time last year!

I now have no reason...

to feel bad about my new downstairs neighbour. I met him in person for the first time last night and he was most disagreeable. Now I don't feel as bad as loathing him and his loud annoying music and video game playing. I also won't feel so bad when the day comes where I snap and go downstairs and scream bloody murder to him when he's got his kareoke machine on repeat at 3am singing some terrible catalan rock song. I won't feel bad at all. In fact, I may just feel kind of good. Ha I said it.

Sienna's school had a xmas recital that they all practised for but sadly she missed as she was dragged off the great white north with her mother... But they do have the cutest picture ever of the recital online. So sweet!


See it's not all evil

Where I sit here at my new but not so new any more job…

My desk faces the window which looks out onto a busy road. On the other side of the road is a block of flats above the street level shops. It’s sort of a mini-apartment complex. Although it doesn’t look to swish from it’s 50’s style architecture, I know all too well that in this part of town the owners/tenants are not hurting for money. All day long there is a flurry of cleaning that goes on in all the flats. Their dutiful South American house cleaners seem to work endlessly cleaning and cleaning. The strange thing is, is that the key cleaning task seems to be the windows. The little portly ladies seem to work endlessly away to keep all their windows clean. What kills me is how they all teeter precariously on tall ladders with the windows open. I’m terrified one day one will slip and go tumbling out the window 5 floors down to the busy foot path below. Perhaps I should keep myself busier with what they pay me to do rather than looking out the window…

Believe it or not

I managed to stay up to watch a movie last night… I did of course fall asleep around 10 minutes before it ended but let’s not be so pedantic… I’d of course seen it before. It was the movie called The Holiday. It’s a totally pinkie Hollywood movie… but I’m not ashamed to admit that I loved it even though it was the second time I’ve seen it. The first time was in the theatre with mum which in its self is a rarity. We saw it together a few years back when I went home for xmas. Perhaps that is the root of my fondness for it… I don’t know what it is about it but I did indeed notice that I had a smile on my face throughout . If you need a smile or two do indeed see it. Alfredo who is the king of pinkie romance films gives it the thumbs up too if it helps.

The wee one is getting into all sorts of mischief now as she is on the brink of full-on walking… not long now till we shed a few pounds chasing after her wherever she goes. Mum bought her this really cute monkey back pack with a tail that acts as a lead of sorts. Perhaps it seems cruel to have a child in one of these but I’m thinking that the city life we lead will certainly call for some sort of child (don’t bolt off into traffic sort of device). Perhaps we can hook on the dog too and we're all sorted (evil laugh). Hello? Child services? me? Bad mother? Que no!

Just when we feared it was all over for dear old pute pute...

Mama bear pulled out a massive geek miracle from her behind. Yup I sucessfully de-bug our pc problem. Our CPU was cranked out to 100%. I mean wtf? Want to know how to fix it? I know you don't but you're going to learn...

1) install a process explorer then you can see what exactly is causing the 100% CPU usage.

2) Once the offending process is located then track it down and kill it...

3) in my case it was a massive spooling back log which was repared by looking up the file name that was causing the blockage and following the instructions on how to delete the offending processes from within the system 32 folder (spooling file if you must know)

4) dance for joy around the living room as you don't actually need to wipe your whole computer again like feared!

5) Feel really really smug as you're not such a mug

6) Go to bed feeling smug still but exhausted as you've got to get up to go to work at 6h30 am the next day...

One day on two days off... one day on then one day off

No I've not started work as an air hostess but you might think that I have. The odd days that the holidays fall on this year make for strange work days.

In the interim I'm trying desperately not to go apeshit bollistic on my new downstairs neighbour who has a penchant for VERY VERY loud music. I am certainly very light on the patience level for things like this... flash back to about 5 years ago to when we lived in the Loft and our friendly coke dealer neighbours decided to crank their music for 48h straight... The cops of course would do nothing as we lived in Dalston and of course the noise complaint arm of the council went bankrupt... If post traumatic stress disorder for this type of thing I would swear that I have it badly! I fear for my neighbour as he may just end up bearing he brunt of my little condition.

Another two lesson's I've learned lately are

1) Babies have jet lag for longer than you can ever imagine
2) Only the very rich and the very poor have more than two children... well maybe the middle class do too but they very soon become poor paying daycare fees for places that serve freshly squeezed orange juice. (I know KJ I'm evil I'm evil)

Just because it's really really funny...

I must clarify just what a power plate is.... and now you know why never to stand on one with a full bladder... never!

Some important life lessons I've learned since I last blogged

1) Never step onto a power plate machine to show your mum how cool it is when you have a full bladder. NEVER!

2) Traveling via Frankfurt to Toronto is NEVER a good idea especially with a 10 month old baby. Go via Amsterdam or don't go at all!

3) Christmas was 100 times more exciting now that we've got little ones in the family again

4) Once you have kids you really rarely want things for yourself

Beyond these somewhat comic realizations much fun and enjoyment was had while the wee one and I were visiting Canada for xmas


My mum and Sienna and Isabella - her grand daughters


Sienna and I on mum's front path. SNOW! (check my to die for trainers says Sienna... and my fab leg-warmers - thank you auntie Kathryn)


Sienna was not too certain about this said snow?

Vero et la petite princesse



Vero's mum sent this very goldie cute xmas outfit from Marseilles for Seinna.


She wasn't quite sure what this whole thing was about... but after a few more photos she pulled out her 'blue steel'


okay not really 'blue steel'but a smile nonetheless!

I've snuck a few quiet seconds...

This sunny but cold Sunday morning. The baby is napping and the boy and the hound are curled up sleeping in bed. I'm so happy to report that I'm feeling well for the first time in days. Thank God! I'm actually looking forward to going to work again tomorrow morning to catch up on all I missed on Friday. Getting up at half six however, that I am not looking forward to...

Poor wee Sienna is on her 4th consecutive week of mega congestion. She is so sweet. Over the past few two days she has taken a liking to being held in my arms as we dance around the living room listening to bootleg smiths tracks that her daddy keeps producing from mysterious places deep within our hard drive. She just cuddles right in and lets me do the dancing. Its such a sweet thing. Eventually she just drifts off to sleep. There is nothing in this world that can substitute that feeling. It doesn't happen very often any more as she is a few days shy of 10 months now and is (when not ill) constantly on the go and not at all interested in cuddle/dancing time with anyone. So for that I am truly blessed.

I had a lovely chat with my mum the other day who told me the best news. She said that after nearly 2 years reprieve from her hellish job that she woke up the other morning and finally felt well rested. No small feat really as she is a terrible sleeper at the best of time... mix that up with constant stress, grieving the loss of your husband... there is no doubt why its taken her so long to finally re-gain balance. I love her so much that it fills me with great joy to know that she is truly well, inside and out. I just can't wait to pass her wee Sienna for a cuddle when we arrive for xmas in just a few short weeks.

Our house is a disaster and for the first time in a long time I really don't care. My priority is enjoying every second at home with all of us together house work can wait. Today since the sun is out I plan to round up the girls and reluctant father to go for a walk and soak up some vitamin d on special today for free from the sunbeams... then stop at out beautiful neighborhood church to say a few prayers and get some divine direction and stuff and such in the hope that by some miracle Alfredo's passport woes which are still tied up in years worth of red tape will be resolved in the next 2 weeks and that he too can come home with us for xmas. There is a lot of praying to be done and we're no holy rollers or anything like that.... but hey, if you've got some spare room on your meditation/prayer or whatever higher being spirit power or enlightening force open, please add his cause on. It would be so lovely to all be together for once at xmas.


Congestion is no match for bath bubbles

Sleep sleep and more sleep



The congestion fest continues here at Casa Montcada... Just to mix it up a bit I got a nice stomach bug on Thursday night which kept me in bed all day Friday. Not so good since I had tons of stuff to do at work, I feel just terrible for not being able to go. The good news however is that it seems to have passed now and I'm slowly feeling like food isn't the enemy anymore.

We have just recently completed watching the first half of Series 6 of the Sopranos... I had no idea that there was a second half. Joey is an angel for having lent this to us! I'm not quite sure what we'll do when we get our hands on the second half, as once we've completed it we'll have to come to terms with the fact that there will never be more :(

Organic vacuums and funky hairdos!

Anyone with a small child and a dog should be quite smug with themselves... You might think we are nuts, which we are but having a naughty Chihuahua has its advantages... Crumbs are a rare sight in our house... and accidental spills- no problem. Lilli is our little organic vaccum. Crib full of cracker crumbs? Remove baby and place in dog a few minutes later, presto, all clean! And if your clever you leave to dog in the play pen for a few minutes and a tiny glimmer of peace will be yours! now if we could only convince her to chase up the dust bunnies...

Its been a long time since I've had a proper Saturday like this... meaning after a full week of work. It does indeed feel nice to spend time with the wee ones and the tostadito one!


AHHHHH!

I'm about a hundred days behind in photos and there are just so many. The wee one is advancing leaps and bounds with all the time she's spending with her new friends at nursery school... she's a little madam now and just so much more interactive with everyone. Her hair is growing like weeds and we may just manage to pull of pig tails for xmas...


Mum went a little overboard with the hair dryer!

Not long now till we jet off to the great white north! The count down begins!

Its been pretty slow on the ground these days...

For anything that does not directly involve my new job that is... waking up at half six every morning is resulting on a very very early bed time these days... by half eight last night I was already zzzing... sad state of affairs really but coupled with the fact that I am still fighting this monster seemingly never-ending cold it makes a bit of sense.

Perhaps the weekend will bring me a bit of reprive and a bit of blogging...